Supporting Infants And Young Children Around IMPAIRED CAREGIVERS, CHILD ABUSE, AND VIOLENCE AT THE CHILDCARE CENTER

Before the event

Having a safe, stable, and supportive relationship serves as a protective factor for children who are later impacted by an impaired caregiver, child abuse or witnessing violence.

Regularly review your policies with parents and keep updated contact information. Ask parents to let you know about any changes in custody or personal events that might impact their children.

What childcare providers might say or do:

  • As a center director, you want to prepare staff for any emergency that may arise. During orientation for new staff, you explain, “When we’re working with children and families, we want to be prepared for all sorts of situations. Our handbook has procedures for how we respond if we suspect child abuse, if a caregiver comes to pick up a child and they are impaired (like if they are intoxicated), if a caregiver comes to pick up a child and they are not authorized to take the child, and if there is violence or fighting on the grounds.” You review the policies during orientation and periodically during staff meetings.*

  • During an intake with a family enrolling their child, you review all procedures and say, “My main job is to care for and keep your child safe. I tell every single parent from the beginning how I do that. For example, sometimes we have family friends or relatives come to the center to pick up a child, but the person is not someone I’m authorized to release the child to. Parents sometimes get upset because they are busy which is why they asked someone else to pick up their child. Even when parents get upset, “I will only allow your child to leave with someone you have previously authorized. I will always do what I need to do to keep your child safe.” You also tell the parent that you are a mandated reporter and explain the procedures you follow if you suspect child abuse.*

When there is an impaired caregiver, suspected child abuse, or violence at the center

Always check in with yourself first. If you feel overwhelmed or frozen, pause and take a deep breath (or use whatever strategy works for you) so that you can effectively follow your emergency plan. Ask for help if you need it.

It is important to talk to children even before they understand the words. Talk about what is going on around them. In times of danger, assure them you are there to keep them safe.  

  • Be honest.

  • Use simple language that is appropriate for the children’s ages.

  • Let children know what is happening next.

How you speak to children is as important as the words you use. Children respond to your volume and tone of your voice. They notice your emotions, facial expressions, and body language.

What childcare providers might say or do:

Two parents arrive at the childcare to pick up their child, they begin to argue and then physically fight. At the front office, you try to intervene. When you are not successful, and the fighting continues, you call the police.

  • (for an infant) “You are crying so hard. I think you heard your mama and papa yelling in the hall. I know you want to go to mama or papa, but we’re going to stay in here. I’ll hold you.”*

  • (for young children) One teacher speaks individually to the child who hears their parents fighting. The other teacher talks to the group and says, “Everyone hears the loud voices in the hall. Sometimes grownups fight, and it can be scary.” Pause and listen to what the children have to say and respond to any questions. “What should we do when we get angry at our friends and want to yell and fight?”*

  • (for young children) The children run to the window when they see hear the police siren. One teacher speaks individually to the child whose parents were fighting. The other teacher talks to the group and says, “Everyone sees the police car, I know you all want to look, but I’m going to close the window shades. Sometimes the police need to come if there’s fighting, and they need to make sure everyone is safe.” Pause and listen to what the children have to say and respond to any questions. You recognize that different children have different experiences with the police and that these experiences may depend on the culture, specifically the race, of the family. You say, “Some of you are excited to see the police, and some of you are scared. Let’s all go sit together on our circle time carpet. We can read our story about emergency helpers.”*

Pay attention to what you say to other adults even when you don’t think children are listening.

After there is an impaired caregiver, suspected child abuse, or violence at the center

Infants and young children will share their thoughts and feelings through behavior, emotions, play, and, when they are able, language. Watch and listen closely. Expect that some children will show emotion and behavior dysregulation. Be available to provide support.

Remember that it is ok, and even helpful, to talk about what happened. When children hear adults talking about experiences and feelings, they know they can too.

Children who have had their personal lives or normal routines impacted are more likely to show reactions following the event.  Notice times when children are reminded of the incident. It is not always possible to know, but common reminders include loud noises, arguing, police sirens, separation, seeing adults upset, being upset, or times when someone is late to pick them up.

What childcare providers might say or do:

  • (for an infant) “You cry so much, I think that there is so much going in your life that your body has a hard time feeling calm. I will hold and rock you.” You continue to speak to the baby in a soft, gentle tone. As the baby calms, you engage in play.*

  • (for young children) Dalton, the child whose parents were fighting arrives the next morning with his grandmother, you say “Good morning Dalton, who brought you here today?” Dalton responds that his MawMaw did. The grandmother says, Dalton is going to stay with her for a little while. You say to Dalton, “Sometimes when kid’s parents fight so much, they need to stay with their MawMaws. I’m glad you came to school today.” You pause and listen to what Dalton has to say and continue, “I think you may have some big feelings today. Ms. Erica wants you to go with her and show her how you’re feeling on the feelings chart.” You stay to speak with Dalton’s grandmother about the situation.*

As much as possible, keep regular structure and routines while expecting that children may need extra attention and reassurance.

Communicate with children’s parents/caregivers. Listen to parents’ concerns and share any concerns you have. Work together to find ways to best support the child.

*Note: These are examples. Use your own words and describe your own plan.

Incapacitated Caregiver, Child Abuse, and Violence at the Childcare Center Resources for Childcare Providers

Incapacitated Caregiver, Child Abuse, and Violence at the Childcare Center Resources to Share with Families:

Incapacitate Caregiver, Child Abuse, and Violence at the Childcare Center Resources to Share with Children: 

Review the resources with parents prior to sharing them with children.

Sample Parent/Guardian Emergency Contact Information form from Tennessee Department of Human Services. Scroll down to: Child Care Agency Emergency Preparedness Template. https://www.tn.gov/humanservices/for-families/child-care-services/child-care-resources-for-providers/child-care-emergency-preparedness.html